Motherland: A Childish Confession

The land of my people - 

the land of heatwaves and storms - 

the land that caught my knees as a child - the

land that now flinches from me, I, the alien -

would you spare me a moment? 

Through your lighted veins, I see the world I

forsaken. The Christmas stars, the humid air, 

the noise of traffic and tongues, 

all beating to a rhythm I no longer feel nor hear. 

Before my exile, 

I knew your roads and mountains, 

knew every crack of every pavement, 

knew the birds’ sweet crooning. 

You laid it all on me as a sweet mother 

swaddles her child to sleep. 

Now, it is as if you are flaunting how you've changed.

Those roads I knew are gone, 

replaced by cold grit that leads to places I never knew.

The mountains have turned their backs, 

their figures unfamiliar. Unwelcoming. 

The birds, the bugs, the trees - 

all their songs unease me. 

I am back in your grace, 

and yet I find no rest in your arms. 

Have you not missed me, my sweet motherland? It

was I who left, but it is you who leaves me behind.

My brothers and sisters rejoice in your embrace, as I

wither away in a handsome land. 

Am I still your child? Am I still yours? 

Nevertheless, I still offer you my unending love.

I will hold up my promise. 

To love you, 

to you sanctify you, 

to die in your name. 

How it pains me to love you, 

my heart's kindle and flame, 

my everlasting pearl,

my Mother. 

I pray that the summer breeze lifts these words of your foolish

child. May they find a way to your heart. 

In another life, I would've been all yours. 

Written by Josephyn M. 

An estranged twenty-year-old, writing from Dharawal Country, a beautiful land that has nursed her. However, there is no love like a mother’s, like the shining Phillipines. This will always haunt the author.