desert diaries, part II

Forth Log 

“Tu dicis quia rex sum ego” 

Today I woke up from a troubled sleep. The sting hadn’t let me sleep properly, but sleepless nights no longer bothered me as much. I continued on my way. The sun seemed exceptionally hot and bright today. It was blinding me more than usual. 

Fourth Encounter 

In the distance, I saw a man sitting. As I got closer, I realized he was facing me, staring as if he had been waiting for me. He wore a golden breastplate and crown, with red garments underneath the armor. He had a full black beard and a tired yet firm gaze. In his right hand, he held a scepter, the tip of which was a globe with a cross on top. He sat on a dirty and dull golden cube. Although the cube was equilateral, it seemed to be toppled, as the emblem of a lion on its side was lying down. 

“Are you the King?” I asked. 

“But not the one you seek. I am merely the vicar of another who is currently unable to exercise his royalty. I am the regent and guide of the inhabitants of this desert, but the one we await moves and commands us all. Without him, I have no authority. I become only the one upon whom the others lay their burdens. I accept them, for every crown is a crown of thorns, and I wear mine with courage. As for you, traveler, it is sad to see you like this again, though you have reached me faster this time. Perhaps that is a good sign.” 

“I don't understand. What do you mean by ‘again’? And who is this other one that I should look for?” 

“Ah! You never remember your past lives, but some of us are more attentive. You die for nothing and don't learn your lesson, and until you do, you won't find the other you're looking for. I would like to point you to the path, traveler. My job is to show you the way, to reveal the world to you. But I feel tired, and I can no longer see the road to point it out. You must find it on your own to make whole the life that is now fragmented into many. Ironical, isn't it? A leader who cannot lead.” 

“You've left me with more questions than answers.” 

“Very well. Let this itself be a lesson to you. The light that illuminates is the same that blinds. Walk firmly on your path, traveler. You still have much to understand ahead, but not from me. Not now.” 

As I continued my journey, something strange stirred in my mind. It was as if I truly knew that man, but only from a distant dream. 

The sun is setting. The heat has tired me greatly today; I need to sleep. 

Fourth day. No date.

Fifth Log 

“As armas e os barões assinalados que, da ocidental praia Lusitana, por mares nunca d'antes navegados, passaram ainda além da Taprobana…” 

I feared for my life today. After so many days here, always on the brink of dying from heat or thirst, I thought I had become indifferent to death. But what happened ignited a flame within me; a taste for the struggle. Truly, it is remarkable how we cling to life even in the moments when it feels most bitter and invites us to despair. As if we were willing to remain standing just to see how far we can endure. To see how far all of this will go. 

Fifth Encounter 

At dusk, I came upon the ruins of what had once been a temple or a castle. It seemed to have been something grand, imposing. Today, it was merely a shadow of that, and yet it was still quite a sight. 

As I crossed through its gates — or what was left of them — I heard the sound of stones and metal clashing and sliding behind me. When I turned around, I saw something that looked more like a titan from myth than anything else. It was impossible to even say it was a man. The monstrosity stood well over two meters tall. It wore a stone helmet with two protrusions resembling horns, and through the visor, only two glowing red points could be seen amidst the darkness. 

Its body was also clad in a stone armor. Beneath it, there seemed to be a coat of chainmail. A tattered black cloak wrapped around its neck, covering one shoulder and billowing in the wind. It held an immense iron gladius that, in its powerful hands, seemed to weigh no more than a twig. The entire figure looked as though it were part of the ruins themselves. 

“COWARD.” — the creature’s voice roared like thunder, deep and heavy. 

“What? Who are you?” — the words barely left my mouth, and my legs were on the verge of trembling. 

“It does not matter who I am. What matters is who you are. You come here again to humiliate us. But this will be the last time.” 

And with that, the monster swung its sword at me — a blow that would have struck true had I not thrown myself to the ground. The destruction it caused showed me that even one strike would have been enough to erase even the memory of me. I got up and started running, and the creature charged after me. It was terrifying how fast that brute could run. I fled among the stones, and behind me it followed, demolishing everything in its path. 

“What do you want from me?!” I tried to shout, attempting to speak as I began to feel I couldn’t keep running much longer. 

“I want you to see what you have done.” — The creature stopped its pursuit and merely stood there, staring at me with those red eyes. From a safe distance, I too halted my escape. It opened its arms — “Behold the devastation you have wrought!” — then pointed its sword at me. “Was it worth it?”

I stood there, panting and confused. What did he mean? He lowered his weapon and slowly turned his back, walking away until he disappeared from sight. I fell to my knees. I had no strength left to keep walking. The unexpected encounter had drained all my energy, and I remained here among the ruins to rest. The monster’s accusation, though enigmatic, seemed to have struck its target. What he did not do with his weapon, he did with his words. What have I done, after all? I don’t know, but now I am certain that I have done something. 

Fifth day. No date. 

Written by Thales Rodrigues Gauze.